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Volume 10, No. 1 |
Adoptive and Foster Families of MaineNEWSLETTER | January 2007 |
A Letter of ThanksAs another year comes to a close, allow me to sincerely thank all who have contributed so much to AFFM. A huge thank you goes to our Board President, Barbara Ford, who has unceasingly offered her time, talent, leadership, guidance and support to AFFM. Many of our programs and events wouldn't exist without her. All the members of the AFFM Board of Directors play big roles in our success. Thank you to each and all. Thank you to Connie Ireland, the Program Administrator.
Connie does much more than any job description could
include. Hers is the pleasant and encouraging voice callers hear most often. She capably and efficiently responds to the callers' needs. Connie's strong organizational skills greatly facilitate AFFM's major events, such as the spring conference and holiday gift program. Connie considers every part of a job before assuming it's done. Her wonderful caring qualities as well as her thoroughness makes her very Barbara Roy, Community Resource Development Coordinator, is our newest staff member. Among many other roles, Barb edits the newsletter, seeks out businesses to add to the Discount Card Program, and represents AFFM on FFTA, TNT and the Recruitment and Retention committees. Thank you, Barb, for adding your tenacity, perseverance, and wonderful sense of humor to the AFFM office! You are doing a terrific job! Special thanks to Virginia Marriner, Linda Brissette of DHHS, Grace Brace of A Family for ME and Carol Brocker from Child Welfare Training Institute. They, along with yours truly, make up the Cross Agency Collaborative Committee (CAC). The CAC is invaluable in allowing the different programs to work together on training and socializing opportunities for the foster, adoptive and kinship community. With limited budgets and small staffs it is imperative that we all work together and pool our resources. This committee works hard to make that a reality. Thank you to all. Thank you to Mary Henderson, executor of the Wilhelm Reich Infant trust, and Mary Higgins—both of Rangeley— who have generously shared their time and expertise. Making Tamarack Cottage available year after year to children in need is an awesome gift! While she and her husband were considering the adoption of a youth in care, tragedy struck Amy Morin, as her husband, Lincoln, died unexpectedly. Amy requested that memorial donations be made to AFFM. The funds were used primarily to provide summer camperships to children in kinship placements. Over 40 children made use of the funds and had wonderful experiences as a result. Thank you, Amy, for your generosity during such a difficult time. An amazing group of business people called the Spirit of
Giving Committee did an outstanding job of providing 208
children in kinship care with holiday gifts this year. United
Bikers of Maine, Unicel and the Central Maine Chapter of Harley Davidson also contributed gifts and money to children in kinship care during the holidays. Thanks to the support of these businesses and organizations, AFFM was able to The AFFM Discount Card Program continues to grow! We would like to extend our thanks to all the businesses who participate, and we wish them continued success in 2007! (An updated list of participating businesses can be found by clicking here.) Many organizations help AFFM all year long. Thank you to Phi Beta Sigma in Old Town, Bangor High Key Club, Old Town High Key Club, Hampden Academy Key Club and Northeast Occupational Exchange for folding newsletters. (There are 3400-plus newsletters to fold each month!) Also, thanks to Deb Lindsay of Lindsay's Artworks, for taking such good care of us! Several individuals help out, too. Thank you to Erin Ford, Kristen Moran, Lindsay Pelkey, Ed Ford, Erika Hoxie, Will Rice, Chris Davis, Beverly Wright, and Antwon, Shaniqua, and Melady Wang. (If I forgot to name someone, it wasn't on purpose.) . The Blue Ribbon event at Ft. Knox in May, which recognizes Foster Care month, was a resounding success, with over 400 in attendance. Thanks to Barbara Ford for conceiving the idea; and to Joe Brooks (former Board member of Ft. Knox) for enlisting volunteers to prepare the food—most of which Joe provided—and serve the guests. Thanks also to Commissioners Pat McGowan and Brenda Harvey, who collaborated to make the event affordable for the families served. Also, thank you to Maine's First Lady, Karen Baldacci, who made a book available to every child who attended the Blue Ribbon event and to Virginia Marriner, for delivering them and assisting the children in selecting books suited to their ages. Again, excuse my omission of anyone else who also helped. Most of all, thank you to the families that we have the privilege of serving. You are truly an inspiration to us all. Bette Hoxie |
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Reunification Tip SheetPart of being a good foster parent is learning how to be a helpful partner in the family reunification It is difficult for the child welfare system to fully assist with this since the court system is inherently an adversarial process, not a clinical one. This is where YOU can help. Remember that birth parents are just people who are trying to parent under extremely difficult You can:
Remember that the evidence shows that children have better outcomes when the foster and birth parents work well together. |
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Did you know...Nearly 10% of children in Eastern Maine live in foster care? Each year, 230 youth age out of the foster care system without a family. They are at increased risk for homelessness, substance abuse, incarceration, and having their own children enter foster care. The Friends of Youth in Care Network has partnered with Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Eastern Maine to launch a new
program entitled, "Be a part of something Big...Become a Bridge, assisting youth in the transition from foster care to adulthood." This initiative will address the needs of individual youth aged 14-21 by offering them the opportunity to
participate in the Big Brothers /Big sisters community mentoring program. |
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AFFM wishes to extend our sincerest gratitude to everyone who attended the "Adoption Appreciation" Tea at the Blaine House on Nov. 16th. It was a lovely event, and First Lady Karen Baldacci (along with Sam, the dog) were very gracious hosts.
"On Thursday, November 16th, my brothers and I were invited to the Blaine House for an Adoption Recognition Tea. First Lady Karen Baldacci presented the Liaison Director for AFFM, Bette Hoxie, with a Proclamation declaring November "Adoption Awareness Month", issues by Governor John Baldacci. Deputy Commissioner Sabra Burdick and Acting Director of Policy and Practice, Virginia Marriner expressed their best wishes and support to adoptive families. While by brothers were enjoying punch and cookies with the First Lady, I talked about FOOTBALL (one of my favorite subjects) with the Director of the Office of Family Services, Mr. Jim Beougher. It was an honor to be invited to the Blaine House. I left with an important reminder that there are still over two hundred children ready to be adopted here in Maine. Dan Fortune |
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Hat's off…...to the Bangor DHHS staff for hosting a very successful The event was very well attended, and guests were treated to wonderful dinner, fabulous prizes, and a Confidentiality Training opportunity in which we were able to enjoy staff from DHHS performing! Nice job folks! Ron Soucy presents Beverly Wright with her gift basket. Congratulations, Bev! |
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December 19, 2006 When a ‘Life Book' Is All There Is to Recall a ChildhoodBy TINA KELLEYEAST ORANGE, N.J. — Tawanda Parker, 26, keeps the photo album stored carefully in a thick plastic bag. Inside, there is a picture of her first day at a foster home, holding a blue stuffed bear while her sister holds a pink bunny. Another shows one of Ms. Parker's brothers turning 8 at a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant somewhere in New Jersey. And, preserved in color, the last day she spent with her birth mother. "If you can look at my face, my mom reached over because I didn't want to leave," Ms. Parker recalled as she flipped through the pages. "She tickled my neck. I'm very ticklish." For children placed outside their homes because of abuse or neglect, such photo albums, known as "life books," can be a crucial mechanism, social workers say, to help them remember — and later, understand — where they have been and where they are going. Caseworkers in New Jersey decided recently to provide such life books to all children placed outside their homes, and to encourage social workers to take snapshots of them with their foster parents and siblings, and their new neighborhood, in the first month after placement. "Youths who have life books have a very tangible tool," said Eileen Crummy, director of the State Division of Youth and Family Services. "They can look back at it, and not have to Ms. Parker, whose fresh-scrubbed apartment has photographs on walls, tucked in mirrors and framed en masse on tables, has trouble counting the places she lived after she entered foster care when she was 11. She calls her life book "my baby," and cradles its worn pages, fussing over the "e" from "Life" that kept falling off the cover. "There was Joralemon Street," she began. "We lived there first with that family, and then we moved to the south, but we didn't stay there because we were abused in that home." Ms. Parker stayed in eight foster or group homes before landing at a home for teenage mothers at age 16. In some places, she and her three siblings stayed together. In most, they did not. But they picked up and lost pseudo-siblings along the way. "This little boy here, we became close," she said, pointing to a snapshot of a grinning child. "We were all in the same foster home until he was placed somewhere else." After her biological mother died, Ms. Parker said, she used bits preserved in the life book to contact a newspaper in Trinidad in search of relatives. "Without it I don't know if I would remember my mom's face," she said. Deridre Carter, who was Ms. Parker's social worker for many years, sometimes asks the children she works with if they will share their books with their therapists. "When they go to therapy with issues of loss and separation, this is something tangible for them," she said. "If I don't have anything permanent in my life in terms of consistency, a life book is like the glue that holds it all together." For Jarisa Brannon-Davis, 18, who lived in at least four foster homes before being sent to a group home, the life book played a crucial role in her adoption. She was 13, and boxing in the East Orange Police Athletic League program run by Sgt. DeLacy Davis. When another officer told Sergeant Davis that one of the pictures in Jarisa's life book showed her in a suggestive pose, he put the book away in his file cabinet, as he did not want anyone who might adopt her to get the wrong impression. Later, when a person who wanted to adopt Jarisa needed a picture, she asked him to return the book. "He said, ‘I'll adopt you,' and I started to cry, since I wanted to ask him for six months, but couldn't bring it up," Ms. Brannon-Davis recalled. She has three life books. One includes an old page labeled "Activity #4, Family Activity," with instructions to "draw a picture of your family doing something together." Under the drawing, she wrote: "We're playing and hitting each other." There are also snapshots of favorite social workers, and a game of Pin the Nose on the Pumpkin. "As I look back now, it helps me realize I was that kid, you're still a kid, you're not that old, even though you tend to act like an old person," Ms. Brannon-Davis said, smiling as the family cockatoo squawked in its cage. "I'm surprised I held on to it. You lose a lot of things when you go from place to place. These were the three things I didn't lose. It meant something, because I didn't lose it." Lisa Haase of Ridgewood, who adopted her foster son, Ghana, 6, said that life books were helpful to the many children who go through the child welfare system feeling abandoned by their birth parents. "Look at this picture," she said, pointing to a picture of Ghana's birth mother, whom he calls Mama Mary, smiling while giving him a bear hug. "Does this lady look like she wants to abandon this child? She fought tooth and nail for him for two and a half years. That's good for him to know." Ghana's book, which Ms. Haase and her daughter compiled, has carefully labeled pictures of him with Mama Mary, and little captions saying "I love my mom." There's also a wrapper from a Ghana chocolate bar, which the Haases handed out to friends at his christening. And a baby picture of him drooling rather The books help cement adoptive and foster families by breaking taboos, said Rebecca Cerutti, a social worker at the family "If a child is sitting there hearing the foster parent saying wonderful things about the birth parent, that is just ideal," she said. "The message is that the birth parent is someone they can talk about, without hurting the foster or adoptive parent." Kevin M. Ryan, the commissioner of the Department of Children and Families, said that thumbing through life books spurred him on in the agency's effort to place children in permanent homes. "They remind you there are no unwanted children, just unfound families," Mr. Ryan said. Some 2,000 children in New Jersey are waiting to be adopted; as of the middle of November, the state had exceeded its 2006 goal of finalizing 1,100 adoptions. Lori Khan, 25, of Williamstown, whose life in foster care or group homes began when she was a year old, recently pulled out her life book to show her 3 -year-old son, Cory. "He was just saying, ‘Mommy plays basketball,' and he was just like grinning and smiling looking at the pictures," she said. "It was too cute." "It brings back good times that you had," she added. |
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A wonderful time was had on Nov. 26th at our annual Kinship Holiday Party at the Ramada Inn in Bangor, and Dec. 3rd at the Portland YMCA. Thanks to all the volunteers One of the many wonderful dishes at the Bangor party was Veggie Pizza brought by Linda Lawrence. So many people were asking for the recipe, we decided it should be published! Thank you Linda, and everyone who came! |
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Thank YouAFFM wishes to thank the following groups for participating in our Kinship Holiday Gift Program:
A special thanks goes to The Spirit of Giving Committee in Ogunquit. This group "played Santa" for over 200 of our kinship children. Words can never express the amount of gratitude we feel to these groups. It is very obvious how hard they worked to make this Christmas a special one for the children. We offer them our heartfelt thanks and best wishes for continued success in the New Year. |
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Maine GrandfamiliesFamilies and Children Together (FACT), Maine Kids-Kin invite you to the public presentation of the film Maine Grandfamilies. This 25 minute film will highlight the challenges Maine Grandfamilies face as well as their strength and dedication to the children they are raising. There will be a discussion session after the film. The film presentation will take place Wednesday, Jan. 10th at 6:30 at the Bangor Public Library Lecture Room. For more information, please contact FACT Maine Kids-kin at 1-866-298-0896.
Kids-kin at 1-866-298-0896 |
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Kara Emilie
Joshua Adam
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Congratulations… To Maine Caring Families, who won 1st place in the Bangor Festival of Lights Parade on Dec. 4th! All the hard work that the volunteers put in paid off, so nice job everyone! |
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Meet Robert…
Robert likes to learn and says social studies and science are his favorite subjects in school. He likes to learn about the world and do experiments. He tries hard to please others and is well liked by his peers. When he is not in school, Robert can be found outside. He likes to go 4-wheeling, swimming and boating. He loves living in Maine and calls it a "sportsman's paradise". Robert says he is interested in "guy things" and doesn't mind getting dirty and working hard! Robert has many friends and likes to ride bikes with them. He can often be found playing with his remote control cars after school. He has quite a collection! Hummers are his favorite and he has 8 toy Hummers in his bedroom. Robert also likes Mustangs because he says they are the fastest. Robert says he is not a picky eater. He likes a variety of foods and will try anything once. His favorites are hamburgers, haddock and shrimp. His favorite snack is fruit. Robert enjoys many holidays and says Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving are his favorites. Adoption subsidy may be available through The Department of Health and Human Services. For more information, please contact Shannon Sobolak, adoption caseworker at 13 Prescott Rd Machias, Maine 04654 or by calling 1-800-432-7846. |
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FAMILY TIES the Newsletter of Adoptive & Foster Families of Maine, Inc. Published with support from
: the Maine Dept. of Human Services
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Special Education and Advocacy Conference
"Beyond Culture Camp: Promoting Healthy Identity
Formation in Adoption"
The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute - the pre-eminent research, policy and education organization in its field - is conducting a research project to identify those factors thatcontribute to healthy identity formation from the perspective of those who know best - adult adopted people.
The following is a letter that the AFFM offices received:
"Adoption Appreciation Banquet" on Nov. 15th., at the Ramada in Bangor.
Kids, 5- to 12-years-old:
Kids, 13-years-old and up:
and staff who worked so hard to make the day such a success.
Veggie Pizza
Robert is a 12 year old boy who has many interests. He enjoys playing basketball and football. He enjoys school and loves to be outdoors. He has a contagious smile and loves to joke and laugh. 