Volume 9, No. 3	NEWSLETTER	March / April 2006
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Month of May Special Recognition Event!!

In honor of Foster Care Month, AFFM and the Board of Director's of Fort Knox State Historic Site are excited to be co-hosting a recognition event to be held at Fort Knox in Prospect, ME. The picnic and fun day event will be held Saturday, May 20, 2006 from 11:00 AM to 4:00 PM at the Fort Knox State Historic Site. All foster, adoptive, and kinship providers and their families are cordially invited to attend. Foster parents sign up now for your State Park Passes. With the success of this event, AFFM plans to make it an annual event. Hopefully, families from all over the state will participate.

Television star and former Maine youth in care, Victoria Rowell will be at the Fort as well as other guest speakers, entertainment, and a complimentary picnic. Several businesses and organizations are assisting with food, funding, and prizes. The Honorable First Lady, Karen Baldacci is donating a book to each child that attends. RSVP to 1-800-833-9786 or locally 827-2331 or email info@affm.net. Responses should be received by May 10.

History of Fort Knox

The American Revolution and the War of 1812 brought enemy British ships to the Penobscot River. During both wars, Great Britian seized control of the river, fought battles in the river valley's towns, and claimed the surrounding land for the British crown. With America's defeat of Great Britain in the two wars, British claims to the area did not last.

Still, the United States government recognized that a defenseless Penobscot River could be attacked again and the river's increasingly prosperous towns, such as Bangor, threatened. By 1825, the nation's defense plans thus included a fort at the present-day site of Fort Knox. But no funds were actually provided for construction until nearly two decades later. At this time, tension was still present between the United States and Great Britain, most recently over the location of Maine's northeast border.

After acquiring land and designing a large, modern fort, the U.S. Department of War and its Corps of Engineers began building Fort Knox, sited to guard the narrow channel through which all enemy ships traveling upriver would have to pass. Lieutenant Isaac Stevens, a young West Point graduate, was placed in charge of the massive project. Construction began in May 1844.

Two miles to the west of the fort's location is Mount Waldo in the town of Frankfort. This 1060-foot mountain is made up almost entirely of granite of various thickness. This provided some of the finest construction materials of any fortification built at that time. The fort saw two periods of military activity. From 20 to 54 troops were garrisoned there during the Civil War. As the fort was still under construction at the time, they lived in temporary wooden buildings behind the fort's granite structure. About 575 troops from Connecticut lived at the fort for one month during the Spanish-American War. They lived outside the main fort structure in large tents. No enemy ships ever appeared on the Penobscot or threatened its towns during these wars.

Information provided by the Bureau of Parks and Lands and Friends of Fort Knox.

Kinship Corner

Summer's Coming…

Summer is on its way and it's time to start thinking about summer camp. AFFM will be working with camps throughout the state of Maine to obtain summer camp scholarships for children in kinship care. If you have a child or children that might be interested in attending a camp this summer, please call to let AFFM know. We will do our best to provide a campership for your child(ren). When you call, please be prepared with information about your child so that we may find a camp that is best suited for his/her particular interests and possible special or medical needs. If you are interested, please call Amber at 1-800-833-9786 or email amber@affm.net before April 28th. This helps to ensure that there will be ample time to coordinate with the camp and make necessary arrangements.

Want To Learn About Getting Licensed?

The Bangor Department of Health and Human Services is holding a special informational meeting for unlicensed kinship providers in the Bangor district. This meeting takes the place of the typical informational meeting for foster parents just beginning the process. Because kinship providers are already providing care and have a unique tie to their situation, this is an opportunity to have an informational meeting just for kinship providers to learn about the benefits of licensing and whether or not is the right option for you.

Bette Hoxie, Liaison Director of AFFM, is an excellent resource for providers on this topic and will be available to speak and answer questions at the meeting, April 24th, at 6:30 at the Bangor DHHS Office. If you live in the Bangor district and are interested in attending, please call Lisa Bullard at 561-4259.

Adoption Announcement!!!

Lisa & Joel Pelletier of Passadumkeag are happy to announce the adoption of 21 month old Faith Renee Pelletier.

Faith joins four other adopted siblings: Shane, Eliza, Kelsey, and Eve.

Kick Off For Foster Care Month!!

May is Foster Care Month! Join AFFM as we begin the month of special events on May 1st at the Hall of Flags in Augusta.

This event will be from 9:00-11:30 AM and will include the reading of Governor Baldacci's Proclamation of May as Foster Care Month, as well as honored guest speakers, light refreshments, and entertainment - all to celebrate you!! Call AFFM at 800-833-9786 to sign up!

AFFM Library SOS

As most readers know the library is a vital part of the resources provided by AFFM to foster, adoptive, kinship providers as well as private agencies. Several books and videos are on the missing in action list. AFFM is delighted to provide wonderful literature and videos /DVD's with the latest techniques for parenting special needs children, understanding specific diagnosis, and much more. The library has new items added monthly.

It is understandable that with busy lives things get misplaced or forgotten. However it is very important that items be returned so others can share in the benefits. Please take the time to call 1-800-833-9786 to ask for an extension.

Return books and/or videos/DVD's to AFFM. Mail items to AFFM, 294 Center ST. Unit 1, Old Town, ME 04468.

Below is a list of some of the videos that are currently missing (videos generally range from $60 to $150 each):

• 1-2-3 Magic
• Asperger's Syndrome
• It's Not Just ADHD

January 31, 2006

Dear fellow Foster Parents:

Thank you for participating in the recent "foster parent input" survey. There was a tremendous response with nearly a 33% return ratio. The ideas contained within the responses represent those of some 350 foster families having a collective service to foster children of some 2,450 years and having parented over 5000 children! As expected, there were countless thoughtful ideas and opinions offered and our work group incorporated them in a final report to DHHS, the Governor, and the Legislature. Six specific recommendations were included:

Reject 2005 budget reform initiatives proposed by DHHS
	If not rejected, the foster care system in Maine will be greatly harmed.
Eliminate the level I foster care payment rate
	Because the rate does not cover actual costs of raising a child.
Discontinue policy of "punishing foster parents for success"
	Because the existing policy is demoralizing and disrespectful of foster parents' good work, and encourages psychologically damaging negative depiction of children's progress.
Communications within the foster care system must improve
	Because poor communications result in inefficiencies and misunderstandings.
Perform a line item analysis of OCFS budget
	To identify wastes, cost savings, and improvements in money management.
Revise the existing system for dispersal of recreational funds
	Because the existing system is "broken" and needs a fix.

To see our full report as well as other supporting information, go to www.tenderlawncare.com and click on "foster kids".

We have communicated survey results and the final report to DHHS management, the Governor, and Legislators. Hard copies were provided to Mr. Nicholas, Mr. Beougher, Governor Baldacci, the leadership of the Legislature, and each Legislator member of the Health & Human Services Committee. It is hoped that the policy makers will take foster parent ideas and concerns seriously and make changes to provide a more effective system for Maine's foster children. Please consider contacting your Legislator to voice your thoughts and ask for support.

Again, thanks for your response and for your inspirational dedication to Maine's foster children.

Sincerely, Marvin McBreairty – foster and adoptive dad

Additional Statistics

Influenced by Mr. McBeairty's curiosity in the subject, AFFM decided to do some research on the average daily cost of raising a child in Maine. According to the USDA Family Economics and Nutrition Review, excluding the cost of health care, the average cost for an middle income family to raise a child in the rural northeast is approximately $18.55/day averaged for children from birth until their 18th birthday. This, of course, includes all transportation, child care, and extra-curricular activity costs.

AFFM has also been conducting interviews of foster parents who have left the system. One of the questions on the interview asks for the primary reason the parents have left the system. After analyzing the most recent of these surveys, AFFM found the breakdown of reasons parents exited the system as
follows:

• 38% Adopted themselves out of eligibility

• 29% Personal changes (age, time restraints, moved, etc.)

• 17% Poor experience with DHHS staff member

• 8% Didn't have the space

• 8% Problems with foster child/concerns about family safety

Good News About Foster Parent Training!!

The rules for foster parents' formal training hours have changed. Previously, for formal training to count towards foster home license renewal, the training session had to be at least three hours in length. This rule has changed to include formal trainings that are as low as one hour in length, if appropriate for the topic. Foster home licensing supervisors will still have the right to have final approval on the training within reasonable parameters. This is to help ensure that foster parents are still getting the information and training that they need.

Free CWTI Training Opportunities!

Resiliency In Foster Care: Can Our Kids "Bounce Back?"

This training focuses on the factors that put children at risk for significant challenges in their future, and more importantly, why some children, despite those risk factors, succeed. In addition, participants will look at research done over the years to learn what adoptive/foster parents can do to help children from adverse backgrounds overcome those risk factors and become successful, independent adults. This is a hands-on training with lots of activities and small group work to help parents learn which techniques might work within their own families.

This training, presented by Ruth Landeen and Annette Wilson, will be Tuesday, March 28 from 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM at the Millennium, 416 Oxbow Rd. in Palmyra. For more information or registration, call the Staff Education and Training Unit at 287-9355 or email DHHS.setu@maine.gov.
Fire Prevention and Survival Skills

Did you know that 80% of fires are preventable? Do you want a better understanding about the causes of unwanted fires and the misbehaviors of people that result in unwanted fires? Do you want to improve your chances of surviving a fire? Do you want information about the tendency of children to set fires? This Prevention and Survival presentation is a fact-and statistic-based program designed to enlighten, encourage, and equip individuals to be safe from the ravages of fire. This lecture based session is presented by Bill Leighton, a Fire and Life Safety Education Coordinator from the Maine Fire Training and Education Program. He is a retired Fire Lieutenant from the Bangor Fire Department (27 years), with twenty years as a line firefighter/fire officer, seven years as a Public Education Officer/Juvenile Fire Setter Coordinator, and five years as a Public Information Officer - Bangor Fire Department.

This training will be held Tuesday, April 4 from 6:00 to 9:00 PM at DHHS, 17 Eastward Lane in Ellsworth. For more information or registration, call Jeanine Brown at 626-5285 or email jeanine.brown@maine.gov.

Transitioning from Foster Care to Adoption

A large majority of foster children are adopted by their foster parents, even when the foster parents originally thought that adoption was not within their life plan. Often times, foster parents feel like, because the child has already been living with them, the transition to adoption will be seamless. However, this is not always the case. This workshop helps prepare participants for the new rewards and challenges of being an adoptive parent as well as providing the necessary tools to effectively support family members through this transition.

This training, presented by Doreen Allen and Jean Bunnell, will be Thursday, April 6 from 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM at DHHS, 208 Graham St. in Biddeford. For more information or registration, call the Staff Education and Training Unit at 287-9355 or email DHHS.setu@maine.gov.

The Importance of Kinship

The morning part of the workshop will help participants get in touch with their feelings regarding relative placements. The hope is to dispel the myth that "the apple does not fall far from the tree". Discussion will assist participants in an understanding of the important role relatives can play in the lives of children who cannot live with their birth parents. Participants will learn about ways that foster and adoptive parents can help to involve birth family members in children's lives.

The afternoon part of the workshop will focus on working effectively with kin families. Across the country, there is an ever-increasing number of extended family members becoming the primary caretaker(s) of children. It is critical that all foster parents and service providers are able to work to effectively support transitions to kin homes, to involve kin in foster/adoptive children's lives and to support the cultural and genetic identity of children in care.

Participants will be asked to take on the challenge of exploring their values and experiences as the group looks at ways to support kin in children's lives.

The morning part of the workshop will be presented by Bette Hoxie. She is employed full time as the Liaison Director for Adoptive and Foster Families of Maine. Bette was a foster parent for 30 years. She has three adult birth children, eight adopted children, four of whom are minors living at home, and four former foster children for whom she is still Mom. Bette is a strong and passionate advocate for children as well as adoptive, foster and kinship providers. Bette serves as a court appointed special advocate (CASA), provides training on a number of child welfare related topics, and is the NACAC representative for the State of Maine.

The afternoon part of the workshop will be presented by Sue Burgess and Bonny Dodson. Sue Burgess, LCPC, was a private practice clinician for 15 years working with children and families. She is presently the Clinical Supervisor with Families And Children Together, which includes working with Maine Kids-Kin, a program that provides services to relatives raising children. Bonny Dodson, LCSW, has been a clinician working with children and families for 15 years and is a Clinical Coordinator at Community Health and Counseling Services, Children's Services. One of Bonny's key focuses has been the improvement of mental health services to kinship families, including a five-year collaborative with DHHS, providing kinship home assessments and Family Group Conferencing.

This workshop will be Friday, April 14, from 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM at DHHS, 17 Eastward Lane in Ellsworth. For more information or registration, call Jeanine Brown at 626-5285 or email jeanine.brown@maine.gov.

Supporting the Work of Reunification

Reunification of children with their families of origin, whenever possible, is the primary goal of DHHS. This workshop will use lecture, case studies, role play, group discussion, and readings to explore the role of the foster parent in this process. Recent child welfare laws will be reviewed. Participants will examine the expectations of the process from the view points of the foster parent(s), birth parent(s), and child(ren), as well as explore the impact of reunification on the foster family's child(ren). There will also be discussion of effective use of Family Team Meetings as a tool in the reunification process. These workshops are presented by Kris Nason, Rana O'Connor, and Trisha Maling of Casey Family Services and will be held on three consecutive Monday evenings, May 1, 8, and 15. All three sessions must be completed to receive credit for the training.

The sessions will be held from 5:30 to 8:30 PM, with dinner provided, at Casey Family Services, 75 Washington Ave. in Portland. For more information or registration, call Jeanine Brown at 626-5285 or email jeanine.brown@maine.gov.

Medical Indicators of Child Abuse & Neglect

Dr. Lawrence Ricci, Medical Director of the Spurwink Child Abuse Clinic in Portland, will lead this full-day workshop, which will describe and examine the medical indicators of child physical abuse, sexual abuse, and neglect. Dr. Ricci will also provide information to help participants understand when to seek further medical evaluations and tests, as well as how to give meaning to information obtained, in light of what we know about the dynamics of child abuse and neglect.

This workshop will be held May 4, from 9:30 AM to 4:30 PM at Maple Hill Farms in Hallowell. For more information and registration, call the Staff Education and Training Unit at 287-9355 or email DHHS.setu@maine.gov.

Simple Strategies for Mini-Miracles

Foster parents (successful ones) don't expect or demand huge miracles. They look for the small successes that may lead to miracles. This workshop offers tried and true strategies for handling some of the stress points of foster parenting. Parents will leave with new tools and strategies for tackling homework struggles, self-esteem, bonding, and other issues that are common in foster parenting. All participants of the workshops are asked to come with one idea written down to share with the group. The presenter for this workshop is Gail Underwood Parker who has raised nine children as a single, working mother. She has a lot of tricks and tips to share from special projects, to supporting special needs children within the family, to building bonds.

This workshop will be held Saturday, May 6, from 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM at DHHS, 13 Prescott Drive in Machias. To register, contact Jeanine Brown at 626-5285 or jeanine.brown@maine.gov.

Nurturing Workshop

AFFM will sponsor a Nurturing Workshop at the Admiral's Inn in Ogunquit May 6 & 7. The training is designed to provide couples attending a wonderful opportunity to get in touch with their partners, re-discover what drew them to one another, and discover how differently they may respond as parents.

The goal is to assist foster, adoptive, and kinship parents in a greater ability to compliment one another in their parenting styles as well as reduce the risk of becoming involved in triangulation created by a needy child. The training is kept small and the inn provides a cozy atmosphere so that couples are comfortable and have a real opportunity to focus on themselves. The trainers are Catherine Charette and Steffan Duplessis. The registration fee and the overnight hotel accommodation will be paid by AFFM.

To register call AFFM at 1-800-833-9786 and ask for Connie.

Dance For Autism!

Pulse Dance Company-Studio for the Living Arts Dancecenter in Gray is sponsoring a "Dance for Autism." A cast of over 100 dancers from all over Maine gather together for an evening of performances to raise awareness for autism!

Autism is a neurological disorder that affects a person's ability to communicate, interact with with others, and develop a range of interests and activities. Autism is a lifelong disability that affects one out of every 166 people and is currently the most common developmental disability.

The Autism Society of Maine is a non-profit organization whose mission is to promote lifelong access and opportunity for all individuals on the autism spectrum to become participating members of their communities.

The dance will be March 25 at 7:00 PM at the Windham High School Theater. There will be tap, ballet, jazz, lyrical, hip-hop, and modern dance performances - something for everyone! Admission is $7 and proceeds will benefit the Autism Society of Maine. For more information, please contact Susan Cloutier, Director, Studio for the Living Arts Dancecenter, at 657-3006.

Rest In Peace

AFFM was sad to learn of the sudden death of Mike Maher Langford, age 11, of Stetson. His parents, Lil Langford and Tom Maher, and his siblings, Tara and Alf, will sadly miss Mike. A brother Jordan "Joey" Hoxie also grieves his loss. Numerous extended family members and friends will long for Mike's sweet smile and genuine caring ways.

Those who wish to extend condolences to Mike's family may do so by sending cards and letters to 84 Dearborn Drive, Stetson, ME 04488.

AFFM was also saddened to learn of the death of Lincoln Morin. Lincoln and is wife, Amy, were preparing to adopt a child from the foster care system. Lincoln was struck suddenly with a heart attack. He was 26 years old. We extend our sincere condolences to his wife, Amy, and his family and friends.

The family has asked that, in lieu of flowers, donations be made in Lincoln's memory to Adoptive & Foster Families of Maine. Contributions (at individual specifications) will be used to support a campership fund for youth in care and/or as support to Camp To Belong.

Bangor Trainings

• Ethical Considerations for Foster Parents, presented by Argenta Jeffrey, LCSW - Tuesday, April 11, from 5:30 to 7:30 PM

• Using Collaborative planning to Facilitate Positive Changes in Behaviors, presented by Melissa Higgins and Ronda McGonigle, LSW - Tuesday, May 9 from 5:30 to 7:30 PM (Presenters will share useful strategies which have resulted in successful outcomes.)

 

FAMILY TIES the Newsletter of Adoptive & Foster Families of Maine, Inc.

Published with support from : the Maine Dept. of Human Services

Please direct comments to:
Editor, Family Ties
Adoptive & Foster Families of Maine
294 Center Street, Unit 1
Old Town, ME 04468.

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Mother's Day is May 14

AFFM extends a sincere wish that all mothers' have a very Happy Mother's Day!

My Other Mother

When God assigned Mothers
He took into view
That maybe their role would require two.

She's made in His image------
Selfless and true
When God created Mothers
He blessed me with two.

Written by: Patricia J. Harber-Hacker