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AFFM Year in Review...

This has been a busy year filled with lots of meetings and efforts to positively reform the DHHS child welfare system in Maine and to improve services to children and families. AFFM was pleased to be included in the DHHS Reform and to participate in various related activities.

AFFM took part in several events across the state honoring foster and adoptive parents and kinship providers, including a Hall of Flags event, a Blaine House Tea, and an Owl's Head Transportation Museum tour and picnic. What a privilege it is to pay respect and celebrate those who so generously open their hearts and homes to children in need of a safe and happier place to live.

Gift certificates, Sesame Street Live tickets, State Fair tickets, Maine Discovery Museum passes, concert tickets, over night hotel accommodations, new Discount Card vendors, State Park season passes, day passes to the Maine Wildlife Park, movie events at the AFFM office, a valentine party for children in kinship care, and camp scholarships for youth, are samples of the many material benefits provided to families throughout the year.

Most recently, AFFM co-sponsored holiday parties in Bangor and Portland for kinship families. Additionally, AFFM was delighted to collaborate with several businesses that generously provided holiday gifts to many of the children cared for by members of AFFM. Below is a photo of just one load of gifts, provided by the "Spirit of Giving" Committee in Ogunquit. It is a truly humbling experience to see so many people dig deep to provide for children who may otherwise have little to celebrate during the holiday season. Thank you to all who added to the merriment and happiness of children in foster care, adoptive, and kinship placements.

The AFFM newsletter took on a new, and hopefully, improved look this past year. AFFM is optimistic that the changes are positive and reflective of comments shared by our readers. The Family Ties newsletter is sent to over 3000 addresses. All licensed foster parents, many adoptive families, and kinship families receive the Family Ties. It is also sent to all of the DHHS offices, as well as many private foster care and adoptive agencies, several legislators, and other child welfare advocates. Feedback for the newsletter is welcomed. AFFM really appreciates reactions and comments from the readers. If readers have ideas on articles that they would like featured in the Family Ties, please contact AFFM call 800-833-9786.

To view past issues of the Family Ties click here.

AFFM is available to assist in starting and maintaining support groups. If you are interested in having a support group in your area please call AFFM. A new support group will begin at the AFFM office on Monday, January 23, 2006. For information call 800-833-9786 or click here.

Among other services, AFFM provides training opportunities that can be used as part of a support group's agenda, or as a free standing training. A recent addition to the training AFFM offers is a new approach to dealing with troublesome behaviors. The training is based on a program by Howard Glasser, MA, entitled Transforming the Difficult Child. For information on how to register for AFFM training events email Connie at connie@affm.net or call 1-800-833-9786.

AFFM's 2005 Spring conference was attended by over 400 individuals. Thank you to all that took part. The Spring conference 2006, "Passionate for Permanency, A Family for every Child," will be held at Verrillo's Convention Center in Portland, April 7 & 8, 2006. Mark your calendar, line up child care, and check with your agency or DHHS District to see if there is funding to assist you in attending. The presenters will delight you, the food will astound you, and the opportunity to share with old and new friends will warm you heart and soul! Please plan to join the many that have shared in the learning, fun, and camaraderie of the annual AFFM conference.

Nine lucky families were fortunate to spend a week at Tamarack Cottage in Rangeley this past summer. Reports were wonderful. Families were generous in leaving a special gift to the cottage and more importantly families all reported sharing a fun-filled vacation in Rangeley. Many thanks to Mary Higgins, executor of the Wilhelm Reich Infant Trust, and Mary Henderson, Administrative Assistant, for their part in making Tamarack available to foster, adoptive, and kinship families. AFFM welcomes other camp owners to consider a charitable contribution in the form of a week or more of use at your camp. Camping is a wonderful way for families to spend quality time together without the usual stress of work, school, television video games, etc. Watch for information in your February edition of Family Ties to learn how you can win a week's stay at Tamarack Cottage in Rangeley.

AFFM has become the beneficiary of a condo in Florida. A lucky family will be selected to use the condo in November of 2006. Thank you to Sherri Skinner and Andrew Hartt for making this available to AFFM and its members. Thank you, also, to Board member Patricia Locke, ESQ for her help in making the condo a part of AFFM.

AFFM sent out many packets to individuals interested in becoming foster and/or adoptive parents. Individuals are able to call AFFM to find out about the steps to licensing etc.

These are just a few of the highlights of the activities and supports provided by Adoptive and Foster Families of Maine during 2005. The Board of Directors, staff and director of AFFM look forward to serving you and yours in 2006. Please call, write, or email to share your ideas and concerns with AFFM.

We wish you a happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year!

Melissa Mallett and Andrew Johnston are proud to annouce the adoption of 16 year old Edward "E.J." Thorpe. The adoption was finalized on December 6th, 2005. E.J. joins brothers Caleb and Benjamin and sister Jaida.

Sylvia and Bruce Reed are happy to announce the adoption of two and a half year old Katiana Reed. Katiana joins six year old sister Eva Marion.

Jack and Kay Benson are glad to announce that the adoption of Dakota Jackson Benson was finalized on November 7, 2005. We never know what avenue we will walk in our lives. Dakota joins the family of three already grown siblings .

The areas of importance to support the stability and the permanency of a child being adopted are great in number. The following suggestions are ways to provide greater support, encourage attachments, and maintain relationships for the benefit of the child and the family as a whole.

Develop a transitional plan with treatment providers. If at all possible, maintain the same therapists, psychiatrists, and other mental health providers to lessen the amount of transition. If this isn't possible, seek support for the sending and receiving providers to have open contact in order to make the transition easier for the child. If the child has been in a treatment foster home, an ongoing connection with the child's former treatment foster care provider can be a great help not only to the child directly, but also to the adoptive parents who may appreciate having someone close to the child support them in keying the child's treatment and parenting needs in perspective.

Keeping natural supports. Children in care develop various supports in their young lives in order to maintain through their transitions. Whenever possible, maintaining these connections assists the child in further enhancing their circle of support, preserving meaningful and formative relationships, and increasing their "extended families." Additionally, involvement by the adoptive family, with these individuals, can increase awareness of the child's needs and suggestions as to supporting them. Some of these people may include (but are not limited to) previous foster families or caretakers, teachers, coaches, mentors and so forth. Contact with these individuals can be maintained in a variety of ways that is comfortable for both the child and the parent.

Maintaining biological connections. Research indicates that a child's sense of self, belonging and ability to maintain relationships can be enhanced if they are able to maintain contact with their biological parent(s), siblings, or other family members. Although these opportunities may not be available for every child, those that can be nurtured are encouraged to be handled with sensitivity for the benefit of the young person and their adoptive family.

Children who have experienced trying times in their lives and are adopted can bring forth many challenges and needs. However, the ability to provide a loving, nurturing and stable home life for them reaps endless rewards. Supporting them in sustaining familiar healthy relationships while developing new ones can only enhance the
relationship to develop between you and your child.

Two wonderful resources in understanding the transitions experienced by these young people are "Adopting the Hurt Child, Hope for Families with Special Needs Kids" by Gregory C. Keck, PhD. And Regina M. Kupecky, LSW and "A Child's Journey Through Placement" by Vera I. Fahlberg, M.D. Both of these books are available through the AFFM Library. Call 1-800-833-9786 to borrow them.

1. How often do hummingbirds eat?

2. What 1997 movie is the following quote from? "You make me want to be a better man."

3. What famous comic, born January 20th, 1896, had a very popular act, along with his wife? Most people remember him for his trademark cigar.

4. What is the name and location the largest volcano in our solar system?

5. A person with hexadectylism has what?

Answers at the bottom of this page

Kids Free Night!!!

Families And Children Together (FACT) is hosting a Kids Free Night January 20th from 5:30 to 8:00 PM at the FACT office, 304 Hancock St., in Bangor. The kids will have fun with games, crafts, food, and movies with the FACT staff and volunteers. And you can get some time for yourself! The snow date is January 27th.