Adoptive and Foster Families of Maine

Family Ties Newsletter

Volume 8, No. 10

NEWSLETTER

October 2005

Next Month is National Adoption Awareness Month!
Click here for your Adoption Celebration Calendar!! (this will open in a new window)

October is Fire Safety Awareness Month!
Ten Safety Tips for Families:

Escape Route Planning
Designate two ways out of every room, if at all possible.
Windows Are For More Than Fresh Air
Make sure that windows are not stuck closed, that screens can be removed quickly.
Second Floor Safety
Escape ladders should be placed near second floor windows, and children should practice using them.
Feeling Way to Safety
Children should practice feeling their way out of the home in the dark or with their eyes closed.
9-1-1 Is A Critical Teaching Skill
Children should know how to call 911. Let small children practice on an unplugged phone.
Smoke Detectors 101
Teach children about smoke detectors and the sound that they make. Children need to be able to associate the sound going off with a fire as part of fire safety for kids. And change the batteries regularly to avoid a false alarm and risk frightening your child.
Out Means Stay Out
Teach children that once they are out of a burning house or building, they must go to the designated place and never, ever venture back in. If a person or pet is missing, they should inform a fire fighter or adult.
It's In The Touch
Instruct kids how to check doors to see if they are hot, and if so, how to find another way out. Fire safety for kids includes having them find a towel to use for touching items to avoid burns, and to also use the towel or cover to protect their faces and cover their mouths.
Stop, Drop and Roll
Teach kids what to do in the event that their clothes catch fire. Make sure they understand "stop, drop and roll."
Practice Monthly
Practice your escape plan at least twice a year with
children as part of fire safety for kids, preferably monthly.

Your Voice is Needed!

The Foster/Adoptive/Kin care Parent Advisory Committee met recently and recognized a need to increase representation on the committee of foster, adoptive, and kin care family members. There can be a total of two representatives from each of the eight districts. At this time, several districts are either under-represented or are not represented at all by a parent representative. If you are interested in volunteering to become a representative on the committee, then please contact Barbara Ford, Chairperson, at 223-4472, or Linda Brissette, Children's Services Program Specialist at the Office of Child and Family Services at 287-4139.

The Foster/Adoptive/Kin care Parent Advisory Committee meets every month in Augusta. Mileage is reimbursed to committee members traveling to these meetings. The next meeting is scheduled for November 2, 2005 from 10:00 AM to 2:00 PM.

If you are interested in obtaining more information about the mission and work of this committee, then please feel free to contact Barbara or Linda at the above-listed phone numbers.

Thank you for your consideration of this request. If interested, please respond by October 21, 2005.

Congratulations!

Congratulations to all that rode in the Hampden Children's Day Parade with Adoptive and Foster Families of Maine!

AFFM took home the 2nd place trophy for Best Performance!

The Children's Day Committee Members, as well as several others, commented that it was the largest group they had seen for the bike decorating! For those who didn't make it, the day was a lot of fun and it was wonderful to see such a large turnout. So many people traveled to be there to represent AFFM and make the day the success that it was. AFFM is looking forward to going back next year and hopefully seeing all of you back, as well as some new faces! Congratulations again!

CWTI Training Opportunities!

Grief and Loss Issues for Children in Care and the Families who Care for Them
Presented by Doreen Allen

Bearing witness to the grief and loss many children in foster care experience can be tremendously emotional for caregivers. This training is designed to help participants understand the complexity of grief experienced by children in foster care, while working through the impact of their own losses. Participants will learn techniques to help children manage their behaviors and emotions through the process as well as the importance of talking to children and validating their feelings. This workshop will be Thursday October 13, from 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM at the American Red Cross, 16 Community Way, in Topsham. ID: F003601; CEU: 6.

Resiliency In Foster Care: Can Our Kids "Bounce Back"
Presented by Doreen Allen and Annette Wilson

This six-hour training will look at the factors that put children at risk for significant challenges in their future and, more importantly, will examine why some children, despite those risk factors, succeed. In addition, we will explore techniques that
foster and adoptive parents can use to help children from adverse backgrounds overcome those risk factors and become successful, independent adults. We will look at extensive research done over many years around the world to find out what works! This is a hands-on training with lots of activities and small group work to find what techniques might work with your family. This workshop will be Wednesday, October 19, from 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM at DHHS, 200 Main St, Lewiston. ID: F003602; CEU: 6.

Transitioning from Foster Care to Adoption
Presented by Jean Bunnell and Ruth Landeen

Approximately 80% of Maine foster children are adopted by their foster parents. So while many foster parents initially feel adoption is not within their life plan, many will change their minds. Additionally, many foster parents feel that since the child has already been living with them, the transition to adoption will be seamless. As many adoptive parents can attest, this is not the case. This workshop is designed to help prepare participants for the new rewards and challenges of being an adoptive parent as well as providing the necessary tools to effectively support family members through this transition. This workshop will be Saturday, October 22, from 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM at the Holiday Inn, 375 Main St, Waterville. ID: F003603; CEU: 6.

Blending Traditions and Values in Adoptive and Foster Families
Presented by Annette Wilson

Foster and adopted children bring their own cultural heritage to their new families. This transition can be challenging, as it requires each family member to understand, accept, and incorporate the varied traditions, values, and cultures of a new family member. With this training, participants will learn about the pervasiveness of stereotyping in our society and resources that support a culturally relevant approach to parenting children in their care. At the end of this training, participants will gain a greater awareness of how culture affects their values, attitudes, and behaviors. Participants will learn how to recognize their family so that it reflects the uniqueness of each family member while the whole family unit is strengthened. This workshop will be Thursday, November 3, from 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM at the Pine Tree State Arboretum, 152 Hospital St, Augusta. ID: F003604; CEU: 6.

Navigating the System
Presented by Lisa Lower

As a foster or adoptive parent, you will take on a number of roles while navigating the child welfare system. In this workshop you will gain an understanding of your role as treatment team member, child advocate, and case coordinator for children in your care. You will be able to identify how systems help and/or hinder meeting the needs of children in foster care as well as gain an understanding of the skills necessary to discuss issues with professionals in objective terms. This workshop is Monday, November 14 and Wednesday, November 16, from 6:00 to 9:00 PM at DHHS, 17 Eastward Lane, Ellsworth. Both evenings must be completed in order to receive credit. ID: F003605; CEU: 6.

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. -Andy Worhol

Adoption Announcements!!!

Parents, Mike and Gina Jewett of Whitefield, and their children Ben, Katie, Nicole, and Jason, are doubly proud to announce the legal adoption of Lee Russell Brandon Jewett, age 2, and Shawn Micheal Jewett, age 1.

Adoption was finalized at Lincoln County Probate Court, Wiscasset, Maine, Monday, July 25, 2005.

Jim and Linda Beaudoin are pleased to announce the adoption of Rebecca Trinity Beaudoin, age 9, who joins sisters Kassandra, 16, and Kelsey, 15.

Rebecca's adoption was finalized June 21, 2005. Her parents would also like to thank Emily Ladd, her caseworker from Farmington for being so caring and guarded with Rebecca.

They feel truly blessed having Rebecca as their daughter.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge HIM and He will direct your path.

Proverbs 3 verses 5 & 6

photo of Travis Travis is a handsome seven year old little boy with brown hair, beautiful blue eyes, and a wonderful smile. Travis has been in the same foster home since September 2003, it is the only foster home that he has lived in. Travis has foster siblings that he plays well with, for the most part. He is in the first grade and responds very well to the structure of school. He also has a strong interest in reading and learning. Travis likes to take what he's learned in school and apply it in his everyday life. He is very proud of his work and also enjoys his peers at school. Travis is a funny little boy and likes to laugh a lot over silly things. He is also very talkative and friendly, and Travis likes engaging with people and trying new things. He also enjoys playing outside and especially snowmobiles and motor bikes. Travis would like to have a Dad to spend time with him doing outdoor activities. He claims to be very good at "running and jumping" and also really enjoys riding his bike. Travis is also great with animals and plays well with the family dog at his foster home. He does well with structure and routine and has bonded well with his foster parents. It is anticipated that he will make a firm attachment to his new adoptive parents. If you are interested in receiving more information on Travis, please contact Lisa Valliere, Adoption Caseworker, DHHS, Bangor at 800-432-7825, or you can call her direct line at 561-4267.

Yard Sale!

The AFFM Yard Sale August 18 and 19 was a big success! There were an enormous amount of donations and a lot was sold in two days! There are still some items left and AFFM will be having an indoor sale in the office to clean out the rest on October 26 and 27. The office will be open from 8:00 AM to 4:30 PM. Just walk in and fill a bag for $1! The AFFM office is located at 294 Center St. Unit 1, in Old Town. It is in the same building as Alexander's Driver's Ed. You can call 800-833-9786 for directions.

Thank You!!

AFFM would like to thank all of the businesses that donate by offering discounts with the AFFM discount card! This month four new businesses joined and are now offering discounts. A special thank you goes out to Kid's Corner in Portland, now offering 10% off, Gymboree in South Portland, now offering 30% off, Shear Beauty in Bath, now offering 10% off, and Family Music in Brunswick, Cape Elizabeth, Falmouth, Portland, Scarborough, Windham, and Yarmouth all now offering $20 off tuition! Thank you all for those generous donations!

AFFM would also like to extend a special thank you to Karen Grant-Tolman for referring many of these businesses for the discount card. If anyone else knows of a business that would like to participate in the discount card program please call Julie at 800-833-9786 or click here to contact AFFM .

AFFM would also like to thank all of the many volunteers that keep things running and help to fold newsletters, raise money, clean, maintain the library, research, and gather information to improve services. Without these volunteers AFFM would not be able to provide the services it does. If you are interested in volunteering and live in the Old Town area, please call 800-833-9786 or contact AFFM to find out how you can help!

AFFM would also like to thank the Maine Department of Conservation for the free park passes available for foster families. There are still a few left for 2005, so if you're interested, please call 800-833-9786 and ask for Connie!

Trick-or-Treat Safety Tips

Carry a flashlight with fresh batteries after dark.

Always trick or treat in groups, accompanied by an adult.

Follow a curfew and take a watch with a backlight.

Stay on the sidewalks and out of the streets. Cross only at intersections and designated crosswalks.

Don't trample through flower beds and gardens.

Walk with your head up and be aware of your surroundings.

Only visit well lit houses. Don't stop at dark houses.

Don't enter any houses unless you know the people.

Carry a spare Halloween bag -- in case yours breaks or you fill your original one.

Always watch for cars backing up or turning.

Review the "stop, drop and roll" procedure in case your costume catches on fire.

Respect other people and their property.

Avoid candy that has loose wrappings, is unwrapped, has puncture holes, or is homemade.

Be polite and say "thank you."

Kinship Corner

Thank you to the Owl's Head Transportation Museum for the tour and picnic for
kinship families, September 11, in celebration of Grandparents Day!

Friday November 4, Families and Children Together (FACT) and the UMaine Center on Aging are sponsoring a full day workshop on "Grandfamilies and Cultural Diversity." It will focus on recognizing the role of cultural differences when working with kinship families. John Bear Mitchell, a Natives Studies teacher at the University of Maine, is the featured morning speaker. Sue Nichols, Executive Director for the UMaine Office of Equal Opportunity, will moderate the afternoon panel discussion. FMI Call Barbara Kates at FACT, 941-2347.

Save the Date!!!

The AFFM Kinship Holiday Parties are coming right up! There will be one at the Ramada in Bangor on November 27 and the other will be at the Ramada in Portland on December 4. AFFM will send out letters to kinship families with the details as the date approaches. Hope to see you there!

Fun Family Trivia

What city burned for about thirty hours in October 1871?
What is the #1 most popular candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters?
How long (tall) is a newborn Kangaroo?
What is the only US city where all major sports teams have the same colors?
How many times a day does the average person in North America open the fridge?

Answers

CHILD AND FAMILY SERVICES PRACTICE MODEL

Child and Family Services joins with families and the community to promote long-term safety, well-being, and permanent families for children. This practice model guides our work with children and their families.

CHILD SAFETY, FIRST AND FOREMOST

In our response to child safety concerns, we reach factually supported conclusions in a timely and thorough manner. Input from parents, children, extended family, and community stakeholders is a necessary component in assuring safety.
We engage families with honesty and open minds. By exploring and listening, we help families use their strengths to meet safety needs of children.
We value family perspectives, goals, and plans as critical to creating and maintaining child safety.
We separate dangerous caregivers from children in need of protection. When court action is necessary to make a child safe, we will use our authority with sensitivity and respect.
When children are placed in foster care, we ensure ongoing safety through frequent, meaningful contact with children and their caregivers. We welcome foster parents as a vital part of the family team.
In our work to place children in adoption, safety is the first priority.

PARENTS HAVE THE RIGHT AND RESPONSIBILITY
TO RAISE THEIR OWN CHILDREN

We recognize that family members know the most about their own families. It is our responsibility to understand children and families within the context of their own family rules, traditions, history, and culture.
Parents' voices are valued and considered in decisions regarding the safety, permanency, and well-being of their children and family.
We believe that people can change. Their past does not necessarily define their potential.
Family teams develop and implement creative, individualized solutions that build on the strengths of families to meet their needs.

CHILDREN ARE ENTITLED TO LIVE IN A SAFE AND NURTURING FAMILY

As family team leaders, we share responsibility with the family and community to help families protect and nurture their children.
We support caregivers in protecting children in their own homes whenever possible.
When children cannot live safely with their families, the first consideration for placement will be with kinship connections capable of providing a safe and nurturing home.
We believe that children's needs are best served in a family that is committed to the child. We support placements that promote family, sibling and community connections, and encourage healthy social development.
We listen to children. Their voices are heard, valued, and considered in decisions regarding their safety, well-being, and permanence.

ALL CHILDREN DESERVE A PERMANENT FAMILY

Permanency planning for children begins at first contact with Child and Family Services. We proceed with a sense of urgency until permanency is achieved.
All planning for children focuses on the goal of preserving their family, reunifying their family, or achieving permanent placement in another family.
Permanency is best achieved through a legal relationship such as parental custody, guardianship, or adoption.
Life-long family connections are critical for children. It is our responsibility to promote and preserve kinship, sibling, and community connections for each child. We value past, present, and future relationships that consider the child's hopes and wishes.

HOW WE DO OUR WORK IS AS IMPORTANT AS THE WORK WE DO

Our organization is focused on providing high quality, timely, efficient, and effective services.
As with families, we look for strengths in our organization. We are responsible for creating and maintaining a supportive working and learning environment and for open communication and accountability at all levels.
As we work with children, families, and their teams, we clearly share our purpose, role, concerns, decisions, and responsibility.
Relationships and communication among staff, children, families, foster parents, and community providers are conducted with genuineness, empathy, and respect.
Our staff is our most important asset. Children and families deserve trained, skillful staff to engage and assist families.

FAMILY TIES the Newsletter of Adoptive & Foster Families of Maine, Inc.

Published with support from : the Maine Dept. of Human Services

Please direct comments to:
Editor, Family Ties
Adoptive & Foster Families of Maine
294 Center Street, Unit 1
Old Town, ME 04468.

Or click here to fill out our web form.

20 Lessons From Kids

If your feet don't reach the ground, let them swing.
Being captain doesn't mean you're the smartest one, it means you're the one with the boat.
Don't dump a puzzle on the floor unless you have the time to put it together.
Don't blow out somebody else's birthday candles.
Stick up for your brother.
The colder you look when you come inside, the bigger the cup of hot chocolate you'll get.
Demand your turn in the front seat.
Don't squeeze your gerbil.
Sometimes you have to take the test before you've finished studying.
It's not really giving if you give away the animal crackers with missing heads and feet.
If the horse you're drawing looks more like a dog, make it a dog.
One thing you can't pretend to be is funny.
Even babies like to grab for things just beyond their reach.
Nobody likes a tattletale.
You'll have a lot more respect for a bird after you try making a nest.
Use the fancy soap.
Flowers and pricker bushes grow out of the same dirt.
If you wait until you're really sure, you'll never take off the training wheels.
All people look silly when they yawn.
Don't tease the big kid.

From "Really important stuff my Kids have taught me" by Cynthia Copeland Lewis

Answers from Fun Family Trivia above:
1. Chicago; 2. Snickers; 3. About 1 inch; 4. Pittsburg-black and gold; 5. 22

Back to Trivia

Links

October is Fire Safety Awareness Month! Ten Safety Tips for Families: